CLICK – Adam Sandler has a remote control and can pause the world. Sight gags, special effects, life lessons, and every other formula studio comedy trick ensues. If successful Adam’s character could join the next X-MEN movie as the mutant “Tivo”.
POSEIDON – Titanic meets Love Boat. The luxury liner capsizes. Glug glug. People drown. Still has to be better than taking a Carnival Cruise
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA – The Apprentice meets Hilary Clinton. The only reason Meryl Streep won’t get an Oscar nomination for her role is because she’s also in…
A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION – and does an accent. Shoo-in to win. Unless Rene Zellwegger is in a movie later this year and does a thicker accent.
THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT – Yeah, a sequel in Japan really worked for BAD NEWS BEARS.
THE OMEN –Remake of 1976 EXORCIST knock off. Since the EXORCIST was recently remade, this one had to be too. (For the record OMEN II is a remake of EXORCIST II).
THE REAPING – Yet another thriller about religious phenomena, this one starring Hilary Swank as a boxer who must go ten rounds against Satan. Between this and the DA VINCI CODE, and THE OMEN the Church is really taking it in the shorts this summer.
MIAMI VICE – Michael Mann updates his stylish 80’s TV series by removing all 80’s style. Original cast member Don Johnson cameos as Elvis the alligator.
LADY IN THE WATER – M. Night Shyamalan’s attempt to show he’s not a one-trick pony by doing a family friendly bedtime story. Unless advance screenings don’t test well. Then Bryce Dallas Howard’s lovable “Sea Narf” character will turn children into zombies and feed them to aliens.
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE – The big Sundance winner getting all the hype. Could be this year’s HAPPY, TEXAS.
A SCANNER DARKLY – Richard Linklater’s live action turned into animation-for-no-reason look at the drug culture. Keanu Reeves finally has an excuse for his two dimensional performance. If I want to see people turned into cartoons I’ll watch the A-ha music video.
WORLD TRADE CENTER – Is it too soon to see a movie about 9-11? Is it too soon to see anything again from Oliver Stone? If WTC does well its opening weekend will the headline in VARIETY be “Ground Zero Boxoffice Hero”?
SNAKES ON A PLANE – I submit we have fellow blogger Josh Friedman to thank for creating so much buzz about the studio wussying-out and changing this title that it got reinstated. Three guesses what the movie’s about.
CLERKS II – After JERSEY GIRL Kevin Smith must go back to the beginning and re-trace his career. Up next: CATCHING AMY.
And the overall good news about this summer’s crop of films – there’s not one by Nora Ephron!! See ya at the Cineplex.