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January 27, 2007



If he were alive, Rex Allen Sr. Narrated all those great Disney nature films on "Wonderful World of Color." Or maybe Mason Adams (With a name like Smuckers, it has to be good). Perhaps Douglas Rain (voice of HAL 9000). Females? How about Jennifer Tilley?


I like Vin Scully.Phil Rizzuto would make you laugh for the whole ride. You'd get hopelessly lost, but at least the ride would be fun.Other than that, I suggest Billy West as either Zoidberg or Marge Schott.


You nailed it Ken. It has to be Vin. Got a satellite radio just so I could listen to the first three innings of Dodger home games from here in nova SCotia.

Paul Duca

I said I'd go with Ken...he's already had some practice.There's a Beaver Cleaver aircheck where he states "If you were supposed to pick her up at 7 o'clock you're two minutes late, bozo". I can picture that voice coming out of the dashboard. Or at least any of the other radio voices Ken suggests (Howard Hoffman certainly could prove getting there IS half the fun--especially with his help).


Barbara Feldon...or Yogi Berra. I'd never get to where I was going.

Dave Lifton

Given that her voice already follows me around everywhere, it would be illogical for my GPS system to not have my mother's voice on it.


My GPS announcer: Harry Kalas, voice of the Phillies, NFL Films and countless commercials.Speaking of great voices and rock DJs, there's an aircheck of Alan Freed from 1960, after his banishment from New York radio, at KDAY in Los Angeles (he apparently didn't stay very long because he wanted to host some stage shows, which was against station policy). He sounds in fine form, and KDAY's station sound is sort of a precursor to Bill Drake's KHJ some five years later, although nowhere as tight. Of course, by then Freed sadly was no longer with us.

Devin McCullen

A couple more who are no longer available: Johnny Cash, and the "Voice of God" himself, John Facenda. "Make a right turn and you will see the frozen tundra of historic Lambeau Field." Also, as a Mets fan, I have to mention Bob Murphy, who is alive but not in great voice these days.Joel's right, Rizzuto would be fun. "Holy cow! You'll have to make a left turn and then a right 50 feet later. And then you're on the bridge!"Seinfeld would work pretty good, he's got a pleasant voice and all he has to do is throw out a yada yada and everybody will start in with the references.

poor man

Audrey Tautou.I may not always understand her, but I wouldn't really care if I got lost.

poor man

Audrey Tautou.I may not always understand her, but also I wouldn't care if I got lost.

poor man

Audrey Tautou.I may not always understand her, but I wouldn't care too much if I got lost.


How about Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer? You'd be terrified into driving the right way. Take a wrong turn on PAIN OF DEATH. And you wouldn't have to worry about red lights, or speeding, or any road rules, really. You'd get everywhere in 20 minutes or less, too. Sample soundbites:"Turn left...YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!""The next right turn will bring you to your destination. I give you my word."The 24 ticking clock sound effects would certainly add some tension and excitement to your drive, possibly causing some 'fun' blood pressure levels.Also, I saw on Eddie Izzard's website that you can get his voice for your TomTom. That's almost reason enough to buy one, in my book.


Riffing off the Vin Scully reference:"So here's Kimber Road. It's interesting to note that Kimber is the youngest of five paved thoroughfares in Southern California also named Kimber. Kimber Avenue, Kimber Boulevard, Kimber Court, Kimber Way and, of course, Kimber Road. 6 blocks long and two lanes wide. Kimber Road. K-I-M-B-E-R. Not to be confused with Kimbre Parkway. That's K-I-M-B-R-E. There's only one Kimber Road."


I'd have to go with Harry Kalas."It's a long drive to Ashburn Alley. Watch that baby..."

LA Guy

Dick Enberg or Will Lyman (the voice of Frontline among other things). Leonard Nimoy would be pretty good too.

Great Big Radio Guy

Throw this in with my GPS, and you can have Bobcat Goldthwait voice the damn thing.


Okay, I wouldn't want to hear him ALL the time, I'd propably need another alternative for more relaxed rides, but just for the heck oft it: I'd try TOM WAITS.


Tim McCarver & Joe BuckYou might have a 50-50 shot at arriving at your destination.


Majel Barrett, who did the computer voice for every incarnation of the Enterprise, or Willliam Daniels from Knight Rider would be popular choices. Personally, I'd prefer Karl Kassel (if I ever win on Wait, Wait, I'd get him to record my GPS voice instead of my telephone answering machine). But, as mentioned before Vin Scully would be a real thrill. What a voice. Also, Anthony Bourdain, with or without commentary about where you were headed and what you were passing by.


Hate to tell you this, devin, but Bob Murphy left us a few years ago. So no "happy recaps" on your GPS.


Want: Alexander Scourby, who did almost all of the old National Geographic specials. You'd feel like you learned something by the end of the trip.Don't want: The voice of HAL from 2001. "I'm sorry, Dave, but I can't take you to your destination..."Oh, and the Bob and Tom radio comedy team did one a while back with "The Nagigator," a G-PMS system using your wife's voice. "You're going too slow...now, you're going too fast!...c'mon! GREEN MEANS GO, GRANDPA!"One final pick - Maurice LaMarche as Orson Welles. "Here, under protest, is a left turn..."

The Minstrel Boy

julie london -she could make taking a sharp left sound delicious.

Ger Apeldoorn

The woman who does the voice-over for Desperate Housewives would be nice, but after the first season, she wouldn't know where she was going.

Mary Stella

If we had Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, we'd get double the directions since Troy repeats everything Joe says.^5 to everyone who picked Harry Kalas. I can't imagine a Phillies broadcast without Harry the K.For my GPS, I'd want Sam Elliott. 'Nuf said.My cell phone ring tone is a Conway Twitty song. I'm not dating anyone at the moment. I'll take the deep-voiced, "Hello, Darling" anyway I can get it. *g*

Dave Williams

Thanks for the mention, Ken. That's huge company and I'm deeply honored.Murph, your Vin riff was perfect! Likewise your Jack Bauer script, Helen.I think a lot would depend on the vehicle. I'll take Willie Nelson for my pickup truck and Patrick Stewart my Bentley. (When I get one.)

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    Ken Levine is an Emmy winning writer/director/producer/major league baseball announcer. In a career that has spanned over 30 years Ken has worked on MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER, THE SIMPSONS, WINGS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, BECKER, DHARMA & GREG, and has co-created his own series including ALMOST PERFECT starring Nancy Travis. He and his partner wrote the feature VOLUNTEERS. Ken has also been the radio/TV play-by-play voice of the Baltimore Orioles, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres.
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