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June 28, 2007



How did Paula go from reasonably normal to loopy? Two words: Oxy. Contin.Jerry Lewis really doesn't like the average American very much, to wish that kind of friendship upon us.

Mr. Hollywood

I watched the two Paula Abdul reality shows on Bravo and sat there stunned. Following the hour the previous night between Larry King and Paris Hilton (with their combined IQ's not breaking double digits), I have come to the conclsuion that viewers will now sit and watch paint dry. Oh, wait a minute ... that's more interesting.It is staggering that this pathetic no-talent allows a camera crew to follow her and document her nothing life. She signed off on this shit! Oy!And please, will someone explain to me what talent Paula Abdul has, and while you're at it, include Whoopi Goldberg in that mix.Excuse me while I watch some paint dry now...


Confession: I had a bit of a crush on her way back. That went sour when I found out her hair and make-up for the video Rush cost $15,000! My God! She must be hideous under all that paint, I thought. Thing is, she is qualified to judge karaoke because she did indeed have lots of success, not just in her own career, but in choreographing lots of other stars' videos. (i.e. Janet Jackson among many many others.)If you want a celeb with much more experience than that in the music industry, I think you're going to have to look very hard. The cast of Surreal Life doesn't qualify and Madonna, Sirs Paul, Elton and Mick have far better things to do.I don't watch AI because I think the premise for the show is mean and too many performances unwatchable. I won't watch Paula Abdul's reality show because you've told me all I need to know on this blog. (Thanks for the timesaver.)Somebody once said that television allows you to have people in your livingroom you would never actually allow in your livingroom?


That is a galactic mystery. She's been a comic, but not remotely funny. Yeah, I don't get Whoopi's success, either. There are some things man is just not meant to know, Mr. Spock!Oh, waitaminute. She did popularize "Don't go there" the time she hosted the Oscars. I know, more reason for seething befuddlement.


Any woman trying to be constantly beautiful in our society is eventually driven crazy. You can never be pretty enough, thin enough, whatever enough, to stave off all criticism.Unlike Paula, those of us who do grow up seem to learn that what is truly sick is our society, and not us. Maybe if those in the industry would do a real "reality show", allowing women to appear as they actually are without all the makeup and styling and the rest of the garbage, we would all know what we really look like and get beyond the fantasies that drive us mad. But that's way too much to actually hope for from "reality television".There's a reason I never watch any of this tripe.


And then a contestant will inevitably perform one of Paula's songs in a blatant ass-kiss. Groan!Oh, yeah, they're BIG FANS...


Ken, I really enjoy your writing. I'm an ex student of Fred Rubin's and I look forward to your oscar and emmy reviews every year. And send them on. You've got a big following. Keep it up-Beverlyleomonkey@earthlink.net

Paul Duca

Ken, I know this is off target...but your collaborator on the legendary Army Reserve reenlistment musical, Joel Siegel (who went on to be the movie reviewer for GOOD MORNING AMERICA), has succumbed to colon cancer at the age of 63.


Paula Abdul has a nice ass. That is the beginning and end of her "talent".

D. McEwan

Do you know what I just did? I just spent an hour of my life I can never get back (Like all the other hours of my life) watching the Saturday replay of the first 2 episodes of HAY PAULA. (Isn't that how it's spelt? I assume they're announcing the dinner menu for the dumb old nag.) Fortunately, any Bravo Unreality show gets played a minimum of 87 times each week.Thursday it wouldn't have ocurred to me to waste an hour doing this, I was busy watching cute young people "Dance for their lives". (Apparently not a joke. Baby-oiled-midriff Jessica danced herself into an irregular heartbeat, and was hospitalized. When she bravely came back to dance a day late with unbearably hot Russian partner, the judges cut her. Cold.)Now, thanks to you, I'll be spending the next week telling people "I never approved that indentation."CURSE YOU KEN LEVINE, AND YOUR DAMNED ENTERTAINING RECAPS OF CRAP SHOWS!Now PLEASE don't start recapping PIRATE MASTER, which is SURVIVOR for obsessive Robert Newton fans. It's the new water-cooler experience. Every Friday, all across America, people gather to trade stories about how they didn't watch it the night before. It is truely a show that makes you go "Aaaarrrrggghhhh!"


They really needed to show that unbelievably HIDEOUS outfit she wore, while "singing" on the Grammy's I think? There she was - being carted out by shirtless muscle dudes, and I actually remember watching it live, and thinking: This girl's career is SO over right now.Anyone who would AGREE to wear what looked like a bedazzler-encrusted get-up (bought at a from dominatrix's yard sale?), has no business claiming to be a star. Tell me she looked in the mirror and said "Yeah - this'll work! Cart me out!"She looked like a 5-foot baked potato in rhinestones and leather. And it made her look like a blimp - sparkling or not.Not to mention wearing hair extensions, pulled back a la Madonna during her cone-bra period. OMG - HI-DE-OUS!

Michael Powers

Paula Abdul suffered from a neck injury and chronic pain will drive the strongest person over the edge. I had a similar problem almost 20 years but it healed 100% fine; perhaps Miss Abdul wasn't quite so lucky, I don't know, but I do strongly believe that's what initially derailed her career for a while. If she's still in pain, she deserves to be cut some slack. And she is quite talented, of course; she gave us some superb recordings when at her height. As for the reality show, I haven't seen it but it could be that she's trying to make it interesting to watch with over-the-top behavior. The trap of doing something like that is that you have to make it compelling to behold somehow (sensibly normal day-to-day life won't stay on the air a week), and god knows what her producers and so on are saying to her. She may be playing tantrums for comedy, I don't know.

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    Ken Levine is an Emmy winning writer/director/producer/major league baseball announcer. In a career that has spanned over 30 years Ken has worked on MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER, THE SIMPSONS, WINGS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, BECKER, DHARMA & GREG, and has co-created his own series including ALMOST PERFECT starring Nancy Travis. He and his partner wrote the feature VOLUNTEERS. Ken has also been the radio/TV play-by-play voice of the Baltimore Orioles, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres.
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