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December 28, 2007

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Anonymous

Go Manny!

A. Buck Short

Things you are unlikely to hear on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, Dec. 31 on ABC:“I don’t know how the man does it. My God, he looks like only a FORTY-eight year old guy with a stroke.”

A. Buck Short

We have a Lawry’ here in Dallas and they put on one ‘o them Prime Ribapaloozas when my cousin Barry came down to play in the Neiman Marcus All-Natural-Fabric-that-Breathes Bowl. It’s not as big as our Cotton Bowl, but pretty much the same idea – and, being Neiman’s they strive for a better class of player. Not a better player, just a better class of player. Unfortunately, that year, through a computer mix-up it was Auburn vs. Yeshiva. Lawry’s was a disappointment because apparently the meat didn’t undergo an inspection recognized by the JFC, so Auburn got all the rib, and Barry had to settle for that ridiculous spinning salad, a side of creamed corn, and a popover – on one of which Barry’s roommate Shelly somehow chipped a crown. The restaurant said they’d never seen anything like that. They implied maybe Shelly had gone a little longer than he should have between cleanings.Fortunately, as you can tell by those little white hats the restaurant makes them wear, all of the Lawry’s servers are also trained to double as nurses. Accordingly several rushed to Shelly’s aid and were able to stabilize him until paradental aid could be summoned. Now Shelly was a 247 lb. nose guard, considered one of the most desirable positions by those of us of the Hebraic persuasion. But somehow the trainer was still able to strap him to one of those trademark Lawry's rolling silver carts that are approximately the size and weight of an Abrams tank.They wheeled him over to another table where, Binaca Jagger, a Nicaraguan dental hygienist was enjoying a rather nice Chardonnay. However, the good woman agreed to see the stricken athlete because, as she put it, she had taken a "Jippocratic Oath,” and could not idly stand by while the suffering continued.The game was played as scheduled. Auburn won 86-0, but later Barry’s Yeshiva team was able to sue for whiplash.

Anonymous

If it was the famous swing band, it's Glenn Miller with 2 N's.The Glen Miller Band sounds like 99 cents store knockoff.WK

Anonymous

Actually, the greatest prime rib in the world is at The House of Prime Rib in San Fransisco, Lawry's is a close (very close) second.

Anonymous

You don't have Lucky in LA? The Albertson's here in the Bay Area just reverted to the Lucky name. A Modesto grocery bought the stores off of Albertson's and the name came with the purchase. You don't often see brands reappear like that.

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About

    Ken Levine is an Emmy winning writer/director/producer/major league baseball announcer. In a career that has spanned over 30 years Ken has worked on MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER, THE SIMPSONS, WINGS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, BECKER, DHARMA & GREG, and has co-created his own series including ALMOST PERFECT starring Nancy Travis. He and his partner wrote the feature VOLUNTEERS. Ken has also been the radio/TV play-by-play voice of the Baltimore Orioles, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres.
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